A few weeks back, while waiting for my friend at the canteen, I got so bored that I started to observe the group of girls who were seated at the table next to me. That group comprised of a Muslim and 2 Chinese girls, and there was nothing unusual about them except that they were talking rather loudly. They were loud enough for me to overhear every single word of what they were saying. Shortly into their lunch, the Muslim girl excused herself to the toilet leaving the 2 Chinese girls behind. One of them was eating char siew noodles while the other was having mee soto from the Muslim stall, as identified by its trademark utensil colour.
What followed was this short conversation between them:
Chinese girl A: " Hey, you should try this mee soto, its really good! I heard its quite a popular item from the stall!
Chinese girl B: " Really? Alright! "
Chinese girl B then proceeded to try her friend's mee soto using her chopsticks. At that point of time, the Muslim girl returned and when she saw them sharing that bowl of mee soto, she seemed quite alarmed. She tapped her Chinese friend on her shoulders and said " Hey, you can't use your chopsticks to eat the mee soto! Your chopticks are not supposed to have any contact with the utensils from the Muslim stall, remember? " Though alarmed by her friend's actions, she was gentle in her tone.
Chinese girl B: " Oh yah! I really forgot! I'm so sorry! "
I was not surprised at all by this situation because it commonly happens among my friends. Sometimes, it is because they genuinely do not know that the slightest utensil contact can offend the Muslims, but sometimes, they are just too careless. Personally, I feel that the Muslim girl's reaction is not uncalled for as pork is considered a taboo to the Muslims. In addition, they are also very careful to not 'contaminate' their utensils with the utensils from non-halal stalls which would contain the slightest trace of pork. This is because pork is considered a sin and unclean in Islam (the main religion for Muslims).
Since we are living in a multi-racial society, I feel that we really should make it a point to be more sensitive towards the other religions, races and their cultures. It is inevitable that misunderstandings occur sometimes, like what happened in the situation mentioned earlier, but as long as we are all tolerant of each other's differences and are willing to accommodate each other, conflicts can be avoided. It is also crucial to be understanding towards each other.
In the situation above, there were no conflicts because the Chinese girl apologised to her Muslim counterpart upon realising her mistake. Her Muslim friend, too, was understanding and forgiving towards her, and so the matter did not blow up. In this, we can see that effective communication is also important in such a situation. This is because had the Muslim girl raised her voice at her friend in the very first place, her friend probably would have been unhappy with her and things might turn really ugly. Effective communication is a two-way thing and really takes two hands to clap. By going close to her friend and tapping her on her shoulder, the Muslim girl made it a point to overcome physical and noise barriers to get her message across to her friend. On the Chinese girl's part, she was an active listener and did not ignore her Muslim friend. If she had turned a deaf ear to her friend, her friend would have been offended, leading to an unnecessary misunderstanding. Active listening, hence, is also a very important aspect of effective communication.
Final Reflection
15 years ago
3 comments:
Hey Joyce!
The problem that you've discussed ever happened to me. I was actually scolded by my friend for using the Chinese utensil to take food from the Muslim plate. Don't get me wrong, that friend is not Illya, it was another Chinese friend.
I was pretty alarmed when i was 'reprimanded'. It didn't occur to me that the utensils we use also matters.
However, in my own observation, the Muslim stores' utensils were actually mixed together with the other stores' utensils when washing. It seem to me that there is some sort of double standards that we are adopting here.
In any case, it is good to be sensitive towards others faith and culture. It not only shows respect to others but to yourself too. When you are sensitive, you would not offend others. this means that you would make more friends along the way!!
Hey joyce, I can understand how easily we can forget about the mixing of our utensils especially if we are eating with a group of non-Muslim friends and the Muslim religious norms are not commonly on the top of our minds. It is also not easy to be constantly culturally aware in the multi-cultural Singapore.
However, pork is considered Haram (forbidden) and the utensils that have come into contact with it has to be cleansed with a specific ritual that requires the thorough washing of the utensils with water 7 times before cleansing it with fresh soil. This is important but it will not be done if we non-Muslims do not realize it and simply return the utensils after mixing them. Our cultural ignorance in this case would not bring any bliss to the hapless Muslim student who would use the utensils we returned.
Hey Miranda, it would be quite shocking if the staff really mix all the utensils during washing and it would definitely be considered malpractice on their part if it was really the case. I hope they are more culturally aware than that as we have to return the Halal utensils to a seperate set of shelves for a reason and it would all be for naught if they just mix it all together after that. I will try to observe what is done when I go to the Science canteen next time.
It is something that will happen all the time. However, with a Malay friend around, we have to be careful about using Chinese utensils to eat from the mee soto. It is quite offensive for the Muslim friend.
In a multi-racial society we have to be sensitive towards people of other culture and race.It is really important so as not to offend them as they are your friends as well.
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