Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

I can never forget the one major conflict that I had with my best friend, Vic, as our friendship had always been strong and smooth-sailing.

Well, what actually happened was that, Vic and I, being avid online clothes shoppers, decided to start our own blogshop a few months back. Si, Vic’s friend, was interested as well, and so we invited her to join us in this venture. Things started out really smoothly, and the three of us worked well together. As school got more hectic, we found that we had less time to meet up to discuss the new collections. We had conflicting schedules, especially since Vic and Si are from NTU, and it was only after much effort that Vic and I could compromise on a day to meet up.

However, Si was not able to make it on that particular day, so Vic suggested that we postpone the meeting. I was perfectly fine with it as I felt that Si should also be included in the meeting. A week later, however, Vic told me via sms that she had already discussed the latest collection with Si, and that the photos were ready to be uploaded onto our blogshop. At that moment, I felt betrayed as I was not included in the discussion. I confronted Vic about it, and she said that because the stocks had already arrived, we had to sell them fast. Also, Si lives near her and they’re in the same course, so it was more convenient for them to discuss during their common breaks. At that point of time, that made no sense to me because I was almost overwhelmed by jealousy and the betrayal.

The following day, I called Vic up and told her I wanted out. I felt that there was no point being part of this joint venture since I had no say in it. Vic was really upset and she tried to reason things out with me, persuading me not to withdraw from this. However, I took the incident quite badly and insisted on doing so.

Thinking back now, what Vic and Si did actually made some sense, as it was easier for them to discuss matters, especially since we were already pretty pressed for time. However, I wouldn’t exactly say I was wrong for feeling the way I felt, because I reckon any normal human being would feel betrayed as well. On hindsight, I shouldn’t have let my emotions get the better of me. I should have reasoned things out with Vic proper instead of insisting on quitting.

Vic had no choice but to get things done soon, and she probably must have already felt really bad for not engaging me in the discussion. I guess I really upset my best friend by not giving her a chance to explain herself. After all, it was just that once, and I believe what she did was for the good of our online business. Things just got bad because I wasn’t understanding enough I guess. Just so to let u all know, things are fine now and we’re back to being best friends, no more hard feelings or whatsoever. Thankfully.


Not to worry, we won't kill each other for real.















I'm still not too sure if it was my foul temper (and maybe low EQ, according to the quiz) that caused me to react the way I did. If you were in my shoes, would you also have left the venture without first talking things out?

Effective Communication Skills

There cannot be more truth in the saying "No man is an island". That, I reckon, is the reason why people communicate. Anyone is capable of communicating, be it verbally or not, but not everyone can do so effectively.

I believe that no family, no organization, no society can function when communication breaks down. It is therefore of paramount importance that we communicate effectively, and not just for the sake of interacting with one another. I want to communicate well because I need the other party to understand the message I’m conveying, the feelings and emotions going through me, share my thoughts, come out with ideas, and basically get things done. Yet, whether the communication process is effective or not depends on the other party too. How he/she responds is equally important. Therefore I feel that one crucial aspect of effective communication is active listening, which would allow the other party to properly process my words. Even though I can manage to get my point across well, my friend will still not get what I’m trying to say if she just listens passively and has her thoughts else where. Effective communication, thus really takes 2 hands to clap.

Another aspect of effective communication that I appreciate would be body gestures and eye contact. A friend of mine never seems to establish eye contact with me whenever we engage in a conversation. Is there something morbidly ugly on my face that he can't bear looking at me? Does he abhor me so much it irks him to look up at me? Or maybe he doesn't think I'm of any importance and so cannot be bothered to establish eye contact with me. I choose to think that maybe he harbors a secret crush on me and is simply too shy to look at me in the eye. Sadly, this would be as highly impossible as Michael Phelps not being able to attain his 8th gold medal in the Olympics. Whatever it may be, it is just plain rude and makes me feel really awkward. But at least now I know that he is really uncomfortable communicating with me and if I ever need a project mate, he is going to be the last person I'll want to work with. The wonders of eye contact indeed, it makes or breaks a relationship!
Effective communication in the workplace is vital too because tasks MUST be accomplished efficiently. Thus, in order to be a good team player, irregardless of status and age, one must appreciate the ideas of others. If disagreements occur, it is crucial to voice them out in a diplomatic manner without sounding disrespectful because conflicts arising from poor communication among members will hamper the team's progress. There will come a point of time when we will be put in such a situation when we go out to work.
For now, group projects actually do help us develop good communication skills. Furthermore, I have made good friends out of my project mates, people whom I never thought I would foster friendships with!

Let me then end off this post with a picture of me and some of my lovely project mates.(look how happy we are!)